A surrogate partner, also commonly called a sex surrogate, is a trained professional who works with clients in sex therapy as part of a three-way team in conjunction with an accredited or licensed therapist. The surrogate is a nurturing partner to the client, helping them build skills in the areas of physical and emotional intimacy achieved through experiences involving communication, relaxation, sensual and sexual touching, and social skills training.
Sessions with the therapist are interwoven with the surrogate/client sessions, and “an open, honest, consistent communication among all participants is a fundamental ingredient of successful surrogate partner therapy” as stated by IPSA, the International Professional Surrogates Association. The surrogate and therapist collaborate jointly to move the client forward effectively toward reaching their personal goals.
While there are some typical exercises and milestones across most surrogacy, each practitioner will have their own style. Since all clients are unique, the process can be very unique too.
Surrogate partners work with a wide variety of clients, each practitioner setting their own parameters. While most of my clients are cis men, I am comfortable and confident working with the complete gender spectrum.
Below you’ll find a beautiful piece from Lisa Ling and Emiko Yoshikami.